Prayer

Okay… I was overwhelmed about how the past 48 hours have been… I’ll take the hour off by untangling a mess I’m feeling inside my head.

So I though I’m leaving Manila with an 830pm flight via Thai Airways… surprise! it was moved to 10pm. So this was the Buena mano stress thing for me. I was transferred to a 730pm flight via Philippine Airlines which meant that we were taken via a old Japanese bus to the PAL NAIA terminal which just made me carry all my luggage by myself and through that really mataas na bus. I was tired already.

And things went on smoothly (though I was in a hurry) and I got on my 1205am flight in Bangkok to Paris where I was seated at seat A59. Surprise! My seat is broken… when I lie on my back the chair just reclines itself even if I didn’t push any buttons. So at dinner time, I lied on my back and this French lady behind me told me…

“No! No! No!”… and I gave myself defense that it is not me… it’s the chair. She didn’t listen and gave me a bad face… well I spoke in English. So I called up a flight attendant and I wanted to be transferred to another seat because of the seat I have… but before that the friends of the lady started making explanations and all. Well… “ce n’ètait pas moi, c’est la chaise, vous voyez... il y a une problème avec la chaise, si je me reste le dos sur la chaise, automatiquement, la chaise se recliner.” (its not me, its the chair, you see, when I rest my back on the chair.. it automatically reclines.) So I gave my press release in French and they just finally toned down. Surprise!!! I can speak French.

Beuhhh.. enough of that.. at least I got myself transferred to a better seat. Exit row seats.. these cost an extra 50euro a pop! Sweet. Yeah, as they say, there are great opportunities in times of crisis. I think I could have transferred to the first class seats. Damn. I ran out of gas… ok I’ll fill up more gas next time.

Throughout my flight… I can’t help but feel oh so nostalgic. Memories of the past few weeks just played itself inside my head. Again I hate this that I appreciate things more when they are gone. And I’ll regret that damn… I wish I could have done more. I wish we could have talked more together. I wish I wish. And yeah now, I do realize there are so so much things I loved and will miss back home. Especially the people whom I have been with and enjoyed so much moments. The group of people who touched my life, the one who touched my heart.

And I finally arrived in Charles de Gaulle Aeroport at around 640am, out of the airport by 730… Took the bus going to Paris at 745am… got to Paris by 845am… In the hotel by 930am.

Sat down for an hour as I was just lost and excited to be connected to the internet after having been disconnected for a little less than a day! Haha.

So what else happened uhm…

I finally met my boss at exactly 12 noon, but before that I got lost since I forgot already the streets! Haha.

And she showed me my desk… once more… the office. The warehouse of more than 8000 articles for making hats and other fashion accessories that is H.A. Schmid.

Lunch was something… I oughta get used to this. A salade ceasar au poulet (chicken ceasar salad) then a steak with fries for main course, and tiramisu for desert… + coffee. I was full.

And I opened a bank account. Took me 1000 signatures. Yeah in france.. everything is just more complicated. Vachement compliqué. As my boss tells it.

And I signed up for internet at Orange.. gee! July 10 pa ang connect! LOL dito ako na errr…

While me and my boss was talking and walking along the streets from the bank…

I asked her... that I wanted to deposit the money here in my pocket. Well she told me to go to the bank and the place where she showed me… “but you’ll probably spend it anyway”… and so here I find myself clashed between two worlds where I’m now focusing to find that balance.

I couldn’t remember quite all the words said… but the idea is… my mom is someone who saves money, for the future, economical, practical.

My boss… lives for the moment, get what you want.

And after that day we went to Mercedez Benz garage to get her car.

Gee… I need to find friends.

And I died from the tiring day that I had. At the beginning my French was okay, then nung gabi na… from the fatigue and all. Kung anu anu na ata ang sinasabi ko. haha

My Prayer.

Oh Lord Jesus… There is quite some handful of thoughts playing inside my head…

I remember my tita armi told us this before… “Ang mga tao dasal ng dasal na humihingi ng bahay, pera, manalo sa lotto etcetera… pero lahat yan ay binigay na ng Diyos, dapat ang dinadasal ng tao ngayon ay kung papano nila makukuha yung gusto nila… kung anu ang dapat nila gawin para makuha yoon.”

And so that will be my prayer. I do wish that I will be able to keep the right balance where I can respect my current identity, my past and my now. That I wish I will remember always the people, lessons, objects that had contributed to what I am right now.

And I just want to think that one reason kung bakit binigay sa akin itong opportunity na ito is because I can be someone who can handle the balancing act. I’m going to try to be the best Gemini that I am, a personality that fits well with the French, and still keeping that me towards my other beliefs.

What I am is from what I have been throughout the life before this, taking that away is like taking away my foundation, doing this is like not a good idea.

I do hope I will always be smart and find humility in mistakes that I will commit. And this shall be something to will make me better and something not to tip me off my focus.

I pray that I will be strong, and will be able to find peace inside myself.

I wish that You will help me more and more intelligent. Become a better person. And have that skill that easily sweeps off stress.

I wish you will never get tired of taking care and blessing my country. For no matter how much of a circus show it can be, it is what it is. And do always remember especially my family, relatives, the people who have touched my life, and the one that has touched my heart.

When I feel weak and in crisis, I wish You will teach me directions towards that opportunity of finding the awesome from the unpleasant.

And oh… help us to find peace. Patience, help me learn patience. Stable personality. Firm identity. Happiness always. Positive thinking. Choosing the best among the choices. Intelligence. It’s all in the mind.

Please do help me know where I can find angels that will be good for me that will be my friends here in Paris. I hope they pass by my way soon.

Thank you for this great opportunity. This will be a part of a great chapter of my book.