and I still haven't got any friends! roar!

and I realize I self destruct slowly and unconsciously both physically and mentally pag wala akong kausap. LOL

... tak... tak... tak...

so I'm going to go to the club.

fine. oo na.

gee... thing is I need friends... not a fuck.

french guys, sure they fuck well, and then... kthnxbye

Ok, what is up with me being exaggeratedly shy?

just no confidence.

and pessimistic.

roar.

where was me a long time ago?

cheerful

kalog

sharp

just greater than me on this day

fine. oo na. I'm going to go to the club and party and try to meet people.

and what is up with me always thinking that this club is just a place to absolutely look for a fuck.

of course that happens.

but then again, as I said before..

being always the exception aint so cool all the time...

Fuck I'm starting to hate life here now.

Hand me the world on a silver platter and what good would it be with no one to share no one who truly cares for me

What points am I missing? Who will talk to me about this anyway?

I'm stupid now, silly, crazy and loosing directions. I dont know.

I'm miserable.

looking for friends... not even... just someone to talk to.

self destructing.

over spending.

out of control.

anway despite all these drama, I'm still here, smiling. Exerting efforts to make things look seemless. :)

oo na, i'm going to go that club

gee,

roar, in short, kung iisipin, nde nga problema ang pinproblema ko.

i need to pray.

i go to the church.

i speak to god.

but i'm not praying.

i'd think of it like this...

these happen as a sign, that God gives me nobody to talk to, to remind me that remain our connection together.

...

Okay... I'm slipping down.

Always alone. Sitting in a park. Day dreaming.

Under a monument. Wishing. Hoping. Dining out. Along the boulevard. The streets. The lights. Under a tree. On the train. In my room. Living. Breathing

Often alone lately.

Lying on the floor, staring at myself on the mirror.

Alone. Looking for people where I could see myself fit in comfortably.

Looking for someone, though not really stressing much... I'd be really happy if this will happen.

The sadness of being alone is starting to eat my heart and brain... and suffocate me.

Then again, I'd rather be alone than be with people I'd rather not be with. I'm still and will not be that desperate.